Ed note: So far as apps go, we generally stay away from writing about bad apps, because there’s no point in pointing out something you wouldn’t want to recommend. But every once in a while, an app comes along, that needs the attention it doesn’t deserve. Brandon was kind enough to share his little story, with this beautiful little app, and I can’t help but hit the publish button. It’s over the weekend, so as not to interrupt our regular editorial content.
The views are the personal opinion of the author, and will hopefully not backfire on me. Presenting, the worst twitter client…
You’re Kidding, Right?
If there was ever a reason Steve Jobs didn’t want people making apps for iPhone, ChillTwit was it. This might be the worst app I’ve ever touched. I thought SimplyTweet was a turd. But if SimplyTweet was a turd, ChillTwit is a cow pie. I don’t even know where to start with this. I honestly believe the SA editors assigned me this review to see if I’d kill myself. When I first saw the UI, I wanted to kill THEM. I couldn’t tell if it was just a practical joke, or if they collaborated with my family to see what kind of iPhone app my mentally-handicapped aunt could build in an afternoon. When the reality set in that an adult with a fully functional brain made ChillTwit set in, I started to question my existence. I mean, why do I put myself through this? Why do I subject myself to such torture? What sort of magic are these Indian witch doctors using on me to make me review such horrible <snipped>?!
Someone Give Me A Gun. No, seriously.
I can’t find one redeeming quality about this app. It’s slow to start [on a 3GS], doesn’t respond to taps while it’s trying to load other things, and crashes if you try to change modes a lot. It’s limited to only timeline, replies, and messages. It has no other functionality. Oh wait…I forgot its killer feature, you can have custom backgrounds and choose the color of your tweets. That totally makes up for its lack of useful features and sluggish performance. I’m not sure why someone would bother building such an inferior app other than that they wanted to find some suckers and score a quick buck. It seems even more insane to me that they’d be actively seeking out reviewers to cover this. I was given a promo code for ChillTwit, and even for free I didn’t want it on my phone. I was sad just from looking at screenshots. Actually seeing it running confirmed all of my fears. If it was a free app, I might forgive
the developer, but the fact that he’s trying to get $0.99 out of people pisses me off to no end. Go buy Tweetie.
If you somehow weren’t scared away by all my bitching and whinning, you can see ChillTwit on the app store here. But seriously, if you buy this, we’re not friends anymore.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
But I can give you a promo code for Tweetings on the iPhone though!
I love ChiltTweet because it made you write this article. LMAO! It’s the best “Bad” review I have ever read!
you forgot to mention the testimonials in the app description.. they sum it all up nicely
I’d recommend TwitBird before Tweetie… But that’s just me.
very well done.
actually i think we should have more of these reviews, or a whole section devoted to bad apples…
fun reading and reference on the awful ones.
thanks for the effort it must have taken to get through this one…
@Juan Wow, I’d have to give props to TwitBird on providing a decent and (what looks to be) consistent interface. TwitterFon and Twittelator make me vomit all over my phone.
I agree it’s not a very good app, but I think you crossed the line in this review.
There’s a point where you’re telling him he needs to improve, and where you’re just bullying him.
@Matthew L.: There’s also the uncertainty as to whether he’s completely oblivious to how poorly the app is put together, or whether he’s simply thrown together something quick to make a good ‘buck’.
In all honesty, this app would need a hell of a lot of improvement to come anywhere /near/ the line that the other Twitter clients are sitting on, so if the developer is completely oblivious to the state of the app, this may help him wake up. If he’s in there to make a quick buck, then he’s set.
Furthermore, I doubt many people were aware of this app before it launched. The only publicity it’s gonna get is bad publicity, and that’ll likely give him more publicity than he would have had had without ‘reviews’ like these.
… IMO.
The thing you probably don’t know is that the developer is only 16 !
@Barth: Aaaaaaand I take back everything I said.
“Indian witch doctors”? Really? I don’t think you have a lot of room to talk about programmers efforts when your own expertise as a journalist/blogger is so so lacking. That is a racist comment about an existing people/culture/religion. This should have been titled “Bad Writing about Bad Apps” or perhaps “One Rotten Apple deserves Another”. My American Indian wife, son, employer, friends, and local community all think you suck way more than this program does!
^^ I think that comment was aimed squarely at the two guys who sent him the app for review—they’re Indian (from India and not American Indian). Perhaps that inside joke should have been better defined.
I believe the developer of this app is clever. He makes ugly app that every body talks about and than comes out with new version that Rocks. The next thing you know the reviews go like this: Remember that ugly app look at it now.
Way to go Man, use that PR in your advantage
Slightly off topic post, but I (and many others) actually like SimplyTweet a lot. When was the last time you looked at it? It has great features, and the GUI has improved quite a bit since its early days.
I wonder what makes SimplyTweet a turd?!. In fact it’s pretty neat and feature rich.
Great review. And future quick buck makers TAKE NOTE- people know what you’re up to and whether you’re 16 or 50- makes no difference. Stick to selling clothes and Lego on eBay for quick buck.
Ps. Those Indian witch doctors are scary!!
The fact that you think SimplyTweet is a ‘turd’ pretty much negates your whole ‘review’ of this app. Oh, and I’d buy a licence for ChillTweet just so I didn’t have to be your friend.
Well, this so called “review” is at least as much crap as the app might be. Besides from absolute subjective views of the author without any background or explanation, there are nearly no facts in this “review”. A review isn’t about “this and that is bad”, a review is about “this and that is bad BECAUSE…”. And because should be more than “because I like it not”. Well, you don’t like the app. Thats fine. And you blog about it… also fine. But don’t call this mess a review, cause it’s far away from it.
It’s slow to start [on a 3GS], doesn’t respond to taps while it’s trying to load other things, and crashes if you try to change modes a lot. It’s limited to only timeline, replies, and messages. It has no other functionality. Oh wait…I forgot its killer feature, you can have custom backgrounds and choose the color of your tweets. That totally makes up for its lack of useful features and sluggish performance.
There are my reasons, Michael. You must not have seen them.
I gave myself a day to mull this over, and after that I have to say I have lost some respect for Smoking Apples. This whole review was uncalled for, especially without any true critical examination of what made this client a subpar application.
Also agree that bashing SimplyTweet showed some real ignorance on the part of the author – SimplyTweet has a pretty faithful user base and is arguably one of the better Twitter clients for iPhone. I can only hope the author was basing his comments on a pre-2.0 experience, because since around 2.0 SimplyTweet has blown the competition away. I beta test for ST, and can version 2.5 will steal some of Tweetie 2.0′s thunder.
The fact that you think SimplyTweet is a ‘turd’ pretty much negates your whole ‘review’ of this app. Oh, and I’d buy a licence for ChillTweet just so I didn’t have to be your friend.
chilltiwt is free
@Barth I’m 13 and made a Twitter client called “Fluttr for Twitter” on the store, it’s at version 1.0, pretty buggy but at least 100 times better than Chiltweet…
This really isn’t news or even a review for that matter. Yes, the app sucks. But no one is forced to buy it – and anyone that is swindled for $0.99 for a terrible app is dumb enough that they deserve it.
You wrote this article as if the app is tricking 1000s of people into buying it. If it sucks, people won’t buy it. If people are buying it, then the author of the app has successfully used his own business model (selling people obvious crap) and more power to him. The feature set and appearance are obvious from the description and screenshots in the iTunes store. If I could make money off of 1000s of idiots, I’d do it too.
You don’t think that Apple hasn’t swindled money off of idiots before (RAM pricing?). It’s not a new business model – infomercials are still around. The “review” really lowers the professionalism of this website, and it’s quite sad to see. Going forward, I’m certain most readers would appreciate a higher level of integrity.
If you have to start out the article with an Editor’s note that says “So far as apps go, we generally stay away from writing about bad apps, because there’s no point in pointing out something you wouldn’t want to recommend.” — then you know what you’re getting into – and knew this would be a bad thing to post.
Don’t get me wrong. You have every right to post this, you have every right to tear apart an app that likely no one is buying anyway, but you also have every right to lose readers and/or your professional appearance as a substantive and competitive blog about Apple products / applications / etc.
As far as the witch doctor comment, people are just looking to be offended. If someone was truly offended by that, they can grow some thicker skin and learn to deal with it.
I had no idea this was so old either – found it via a link on twitter. 2009 – surprisingly old. Although, I still stand by my comments!
Would it have been suprisingly new if you had found it in 2009?