[tweetmeme]Rewind back to October 2009 when Apple unveiled the revolutionary new iMacs. Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior Vice President of Worldwide Product Marketing, at the special Apple event raved about them saying, “The new iMac delivers an amazing desktop experience that we think customers will love.” I had waited long enough to foresee this iMac refresh, so that I could barge into one of the nearest Apple retailers and bite the poisoned Apple. Yes, this would be my first Mac.

Come December 2009, the new iMacs had tottered and tattered along, losing their way to make it to India. 6th December 2009 was the glorious day I decided to indulge myself and ventured out to the most prominent Apple Retailer in New Delhi—iWorld, Ansal Plaza. I could feel myself levitating somewhere in heaven with fairies feeding me grapes—I mean apples. Little did I know that the apples had been poisoned and the fairies were machinating against me. Anyhow, I came back with a significantly lighter wallet but with a big grin on my face and the holy 21.5-inch iMac. I’m sure my heart skipped a few beats as I lay the gorgeous beauty on my desk. My journey had begun on a perfect note.

Let’s skip to third week of December 2009. The iMac and I had moseyed into runic lands by now when I discovered my companion had been debilitated from last night’s revelry. The sacredness of the iMac has been tainted by black spots on the top left corner. No, these were not horizontal or vertical lines but kind of ‘dirty patches’ you’d get if a kid wiped his hands of your shiny new display after returning home soiled in mud. And hence began my odious odyssey with AppleCare.

Odious Odyssey with AppleCare

On the bright and cool evening of December 21, 2009, I called up both iWorld, the Apple Retailer and Apple support helpline. I’m not as good as Preshit in remembering a ton of names—no matter how hilarious they may be—I’ll stick to calling them executives. The first AppleCare executive was the most helpful of the lot but it kept going downhill from there. He inquired about my issue, gave me a CaseID and did the regular troubleshooting steps. He suggested it was an issue with the hardware but as I was outside the 14-day DOA period, I could not be provided with a full replacement. However, he suggested me to follow up with the Apple Retailer to see if they were willing to provide me with a replacement. If not, I would have to take my iMac to an Apple Authorized Service Provider and get the display replaced. No onsite warranty on the iMacs without the AppleCare pack. I was livid at the idea of having to carry the bulky machine all the way to iWorld, which incidentally was the closest AASP from my place.

iWorld folks were somewhat supportive and decided to send an engineer to my place to check for the issue. A couple of days later, the engineer arrived—don’t even think of these guys as equivalent to Apple Geniuses—and confirmed that the display would need a replacement. I started carping about the iMac not even being a month old and other relevant stuff demanding for a full replacement but it’s as if these guys are sent on duty with cotton stuffed into their ears. I let the poor fellow go and called up iWorld to follow up with them. They kept citing the 14-day DOA policy by Apple and rejected my demand outright for a full replacement.

I had more faith in AppleCare than the bunch of folks running iWorld. I had a chat with Preshit about the issue and decided to take up the matter with Apple’s Customer Relations department. He had not encountered his torrid experience with Apple by then, so he was all roseate about me getting a replacement. Called up AppleCare and got my call escalated to the Customer Relations department to be greeted by Joanna. Oh, I’ll remember that name for a long time to come as what followed were regular conversations with her that spanned for over a month and a half. Joanna was understanding and sympathized with me but she was obstinate in not letting me have a full replacement. Tenacious as I was, until now, gave up the hope for a full replacement after my efforts to convince Joanna spanning a few days were futile. The calendar had hurriedly climbed to December 28, 2009 by now.

Delayed replacement. Woes continue.

24-48 hours was the timeframe provided by her for the replacement part to reach the service provider. A couple of days passed with my friend whining in pain but with no relief in sight. A couple of calls later, I got in touch with Joanna only to realize that the replacement panel had not been shipped from the warehouse. I was furious at the insouciant attitude that had been adopted towards my case and vented out my anger sans the stream of invective that had roiled up inside me. Joanna was as sympathetic as ever and told my part would be expedited and she would personally ensure the process gets completed without any hiccups. She offered me an accessory to make up for the unpleasant experience. When there’s magic in the air, you can definitely feel it.

The very next day—January 1, 2010—the same old nonchalant guy from iWorld was at my place with the new display panel for the iMac. It took him a while to figure out how to remove the front glass panel, proving how ‘Genius’ this guy actually was. Screws were flying all over the place a few minutes later but the bloke somehow managed to get the thing in place in a single piece. Not having to take the iMac to iWorld was the only silver lining in the dark and dreadful clouds that had hung over the issue for over ten days now. My companion had recuperated and we were ready to head out on a quick jaunt. I decided to put the past behind me and strongly believed fate had delightful things in store for me in the fabulous new year of 2010.

Far from a fable

I had no inkling that my pal was in remission and would fall sick again three weeks later. I’ll save you some time by not reciting the parable again that I just finished narrating. I filed the complaint on January 21, 2010 with both iWorld and AppleCare and this is what followed.

Five days later. Nonchalant guy. Issue confirmed. Replacement denied. Part not shipped. Infirm companion. Agony continues.

A couple of public holidays followed and by then calendar had marched its way to February 3, 2010. The day Joanna decides to take a sick leave. I’m dumbstruck at the inability of AppleCare to make any headway into the case if the Customer Relations executive handling your case is unavailable for some reason. After a flurry of calls, I was able to extract the information that the part had not left the warehouse even though order for it had been placed on January 29, 2010. I eagerly awaited a call from Joanna the following day—February 4, 2010— and she didn’t disappoint. She had done that a number of times on previous occasions that account for the dates flipping over with no significant activity if you may have noticed.

The One with the spiel

Half-awake, half-asleep driving on the highway, rushing headlong to make it in time for my class, the phone started buzzing away to glory. Joanna it was! A few seconds later I was at a traffic signal—great time to make a full length conversation anytime here in New Delhi— when I decided to pick it up. Apparently, the iMac replacement displays were out of stock at the warehouse and it would be a while before they’d become available again. She unwillingly offered me a full replacement of my iMac. Sounds all goody, doesn’t it? Certainly wasn’t.

The full replacement came with a few riders. It would take approximately 2-3 weeks for the whole process to complete. Before I could quip in with my rants, she continued that first my faulty iMac would be collected and only then would the order for new iMac be placed. The new iMac would be shipped directly from Apple Singapore and the delay would be at the customs side. I still haven’t been able to figure out why the new iMac can’t be shipped from Apple India itself. No standby Mac for the time period aforementioned was to be provided. I pondered about it for a moment and decided to go ahead with the process and bid goodbye to my ailing companion that provides little hope of full recovery.

One of the biggest reasons to buy the iMac early into its production cycle was the faith I had in quality of Apple’s products and the remarkable experiences people have had with AppleCare that are strewn all over the web. I’ve been left utterly disappointed. It kills me a little inside to know Apple has not been able to solve the various issues that have been plaguing the new iMacs even months after they went into production. I have no words to lambaste the quality of service provided by AppleCare. Fifty days in, I have been offered a replacement which not be here for atleast another two weeks—emphasis on at least. I hoping I don’t have to deal with AppleCare again. Ever.

Bidding Farewell

As I sit besides my distressed pal, writing this post, the date has rolled over to February 9, 2010. Today, the logistics team would arrive and take my pal away. *Sobs* I have already started getting dreary dreams about having to hang out with my long forgotten portable windowy friend that is no longer adept to be my wingman. As I close this post, I begin the process of interring the body of my companion in its grave and holding a requiem for it to rest in peace. You all are cordially invited to attend this ceremony and do share your experiences right after the jump.